Cassius, It's Over. You're Second Best.

Some people want me to write another entry. You're probably in the minority.
For most of my life, I've been second best. That's not entirely true. Sometimes I'm a little lower down the list. Sometimes I'm the best within a certain group, but not as great a level up. Big fish, small pond, and all that.
I'm aware that this sounds rather like a problem of privilege. Surely, you might say, you have it better than most. Perhaps this is so, but I feel like it's worse. There are many things I'm bad at. Take art, for example. My talent is approximately that of a somewhat talented elementary school aged child. I don't mind that, or my mediocrity at sports, or my lack of social skills. I just assume they're things I can never excel at. But the things I'm almost great at are almost tortuous. I feel like if I could just be a tiny bit better or smarter, I could achieve the coveted "best" status. Yet it constantly eludes me. Sometimes I think "not quite good enough" is my status in life.
I've had more than one interview that resulted in a response of "we like you, but the position has been filled." At times, I'd rather get a "you aren't what we want." At least then I'd have to change.
The title I chose for this is two-fold. First is the obvious "second best." The second is that I can't stop making Classical references or talking about it. I have no desire to study it anymore, but I love the history, the stories, Latin, everything. My mother was reading a novel set in Rome and kept referring to "Crassius." I asked her whether she meant Crassus or Cassius, two very different people. She said it was Crassus, "the rich one." I informed her that Crassus was rich, and that Cassius was a politician associated with Caesar who was always second best. A few days later, my iTunes played "Cassius" by Foals, a song I almost never listen too, and I was surprised to hear its lyrics echo my thoughts.
Maybe I'm really just Cassius.